Sad Little Baby Jesus

April 28, 2009 / Posted by:

Madonna is really trying to make her child happen in the fashion world. Before his pimp and savior came along, Baby Jesus was just another purdy face in a sea of models. But now that he’s Vadge’s main culo tickler, the work has been pouring in and not everyone’s has smile faces about it.

Last week, Baby Jesus walked the Jeffrey Fashion Cares show in NYC and the other models crucified him with their words! A source told Gatecrasher, “None of the other models would talk to Jesus or even look at him. They were gossiping like catty girls about how they couldn’t wait for his career to fizzle out.” His career?! What about his peen fizzling? It probably looks like a dehydrated green bean now.

The catty models and I can laugh all we want, but Baby Jesus is still getting work, dehydrated peen and all. He’s about to shoot a campaign for Dolce & Gabbana. And Marc Jacobs even wrote a letter to the US Visa people telling him that Baby Jesus needs to stay in the country to work, because he’s important to the fashion industry. I just rolled my eyes so hard that my contact popped out! Baby Jesus is no Sue Ellen Crandell.

If I were Baby Jesus, I’d quit this modeling thing and focus on getting knocked up! Hey, Vadge probably produces man sperm, so it’s not totally out of the question. Baby Jesus needs to get pregnant to secure his future! And if he can give birth to an African orphan, even better.

Here’s Baby Jesus’ adopted memaw taking her new face out for a walk in NYC last night.

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