April 28, 2009 / Posted by:

Last night on Dancing with the Irrelevant, Melissa, the bitch who has no business being there in the first place, didn’t dance live due to an injury. Last week, Melissa busted her McRib which caused a hairline fracture. Cut to Vivica Fox screaming, “Bitch stole my hairline!”

Because Melissa’s pussy ass wasn’t able to shake it off and perform, the judges had to score her half-assed rehearsal video. Melissa must have been well enough to get her ass on Facebook, because she left this message (via UsWeekly), “I was doing alright but went to the doc before dress rehearsal for some last minute treatment and ended up having a bad reaction that’s affecting my breathing. Hopefully (fingers crossed) I’ll be good tomorrow. But thank you for all the love, support and votes! We need it!

VOTES?! Melissa didn’t even get her ass out there and dance. Sympathy votes should not count! Kick the trick out the door and let the real bitches play. I mean, Lil’ Kim dances every week with a face so tight that it makes her knees buckle and she still manages to turn it out.

That being said, it looks like CHERYL BURKE is back to stirring her cauldron. Mop Head has been pretty quiet for a couple of weeks. Before the season started, she stuck her pins into voodoo dolls and claimed a few victims, but kept it on the down low after that. Well, she’s back and going after her biggest competition! Mop Head sprinkled her black magic all over Melissa and cackled as she fell. If CHERYL BURKE wins this mess again, I will file the necessary documents to divorce this show forever. Evil Mop Head shouldn’t prevail this time.

The only reason she was cast again this season was for the clip below. Skip to the 1:30 mark below. I’ve worn this video out like a favorite vibrator.

Gilles meant to do that. HAHAHA. That’s where that trick’s head belongs. On the ground, mopping up the filth! Stay down, bitch! You missed a spot.

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