You Learn Something New Every Day: Animal-Style Fries At In-N-Out

I’m originally from Southern California, so In-N-Out is the native food of my people. Whenever I go back, I slip on my scuba gear and dive into the middle of a double double. I don’t ever come out. I just smother myself in its deliciousness until my caca even smells like something off of their menu.

Because I consider a serious In-N-Out-aholic, I’m a little ashamed to admit that I’ve never heard of fries animal-style. It’s not on the menu, so you have to ask for it. Now, I’ve eaten a cheeseburger animal-style, but didn’t even know you could get that mess on your fries. I didn’t know until a reader we’ll call Rachel let me in on the secret today.

Just like the burger, they top the fries with melted cheese, grilled onions and gallons of Thousand Island dressing. After staring at this picture, I don’t know whether to bite at my screen or cry into a toilet. It kind of looks like something you’d find in the dumpster outside of an abortion clinic. Like something Vadge would smear her face with. I think I see something moving. That’s never stopped me before, so as soon as I land back in my homeland in a few months, I will drive up to an In-N-Out and ask for my fries abortion-style.