SPOILER ALERT!!! The plastic went flying on last night’s Celebrity Apprentice. Finally, watching hours upon hours of this ridiculousness paid off. It all started in the boardroom when Melissa Rivers accused fellow plastic-face Brande Roderick and “pokah playa” Annie Duke of joining forces just so they could take her down. Donald Trump didn’t buy the whines and he fired Melissa. Since Melissa and Joan Rivers’ facelift scars are sewn together, Joan also packed up her shit and said she wasn’t coming back.
Before they left, Joan unleashed her fury on Brande and Annie. It was amazing. Joan was so fucking mad. I thought her face was going to fly up into the air like pizza dough and stick to the ceiling. Then some poor sap crew member would’ve had to shuffle into the room, bring out a ladder and climb it so he could pry off Joan’s face from the ceiling with a spatula. Meanwhile, Joan would’ve been running around the room like a lizard without a tail.
The part that made me laugh until my nipples burped was when Joan told Annie, “I met your people in Vegas for 40 years. None of them have last names! You’re a pokaaaaaah playaaaa….a pokaaaaaah playa….That’s beyond white trash! Pokah plays are trash, darling!” And then Annie responded with, “Poker plays are the most awesome people in the world.” What the? Did this conversation happen in a vacuum, because all of them have had the sense sucked out of them. I feel like we need some kind of official debate on this subject. POKAH PLAYAS: Beyond White Trash or Awesome People Of The World?
And thanks to Melissa for introducing me to the insult, “YOU’RE A WHORE PIT VIPER.” I love it when people just dig into their bag of words and use whatever comes out as an insult. “YOU’RE A SLUT MACAROON GARTER SNAKE!‘