Suspect Quote Of The Day

April 26, 2009 / Posted by:

Some whores (including this one) think Oprah’s hair is made out of the fringe they use to trim Oriental rugs with, so she went on Twitter and her show to proclaim that her shit is totally real.

Oprah showed off this picture of what she says is her natural flowing locks. Why do I think that hair is attached to that early 90s headband? And why do I think Bebe Zahara Benet owns the deed to that mop? And does Oprah’s eye get wonky when she’s lie-telling? Okay, okay. Oprah’s hair is 100% organic deity hair. I will become a believer! Besides if I accuse Oprah of lying, the government will automatically find me guilty of treason. Punishment: wash The Mighty O’s REAL hair nightly with a mixture of holy water and Gayle’s tears.


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