(Former) Lezzie To Lezzie

April 23, 2009 / Posted by:

When most of us are going through some real shit we turn to therapy, a bottle of Mad Dog or Yahoo Answers! to help us see the light, but celebwhores like HoHan go on The Ellen Degeneres Show to spill their hearts on the floor. Don’t worry, she snorted it back up, so she wouldn’t leave a mess.

When hos goes on talk shows, they are usually there to whore out something or another, but it sounds like HoHan just went on to weep for her old partner in pussy. In the interview, airing today, HoHan said she had no idea she was about to get kicked into the gutter, “I had no idea what was going on. I just hadn’t seen her in like a week. She like, disappeared.” When asked about why they stopped bumping ‘ginas, HoHan wouldn’t say, but she denied it was because of illegal sexy times, “I don’t believe in cheating on someone.

Ellen kind of dropped a big boiling pot of HINTS on HoHan’s head when she talked about her own break-up with that crazy Celestia-being, “I kind of lost my career for a little while and I went away. I went to Ojai, California. I stayed away for three years and I literally hibernated and got myself back together. Do you feel like you want to run away?” HoHan wouldn’t get the hint if we liquefied it, cooked it up, chopped it down and shoved it up her nose. Her response to Ellen’s question was, “I feel like I want to get my career back in shape. There are some shows I’m producing that I’m really excited about. I’m doing a movie in October. So it’s been nice to just kind of…You know when people are together so much it gets really difficult and you forget who you are because you’re more concerned about being with the other person.

Why didn’t Ellen just shake her bony ass and scream, “BITCH! Hook yourself up to an IV filled with blended down meals from Claim Jumper, get in an oxygen tank and stay there until Mean Girls’ 10th anniversary!”

And HoHan still holds a place in her pussay for SamRo’s strap-on, “I really care about Samantha and we’ll see what happens. Maybe when we’re fully in the right place. And I love her.”

She kind of sounds like a walking and talking Craigslist Missed Connections ad.

HoHan doesn’t need SamRo and she doesn’t need to work right now. She needs to clean the cokewebs out of her ears and listen to Ellen. Go to a lovely place with trees and deers where she can just quietly sit and use those chopstick legs to eat some damn chow mein or something.

VIA E! Online

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