Open Post: Hosted By Susan Boyle’s New Eyebrows

April 22, 2009 / Posted by:

Susan Boyle, the most famous person in the universe, got her shrub brows pruned. Susan let a bitch take a machete to those things. Actually, it probably took a couple of machets, a pack of wild goats and a gallon of tar to get that much hair off her eyebrows. I mean, they are a direct descendants of Robin Williams’ nipple bushes.

You know, I kind of miss Susan’s old eyebrows. Whenever she sang, the wind from her mouth glided up to her eyebrows causing the follicles to dance in the light. Now they look like every other hos’ brows.

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