Cut To Basement Baby With A Guilty Look On Her Face

April 22, 2009 / Posted by:

If your ear drums shriveled up and died after listening to the unedited board feed from Beyonce’s Today performance, it was all in vain. TMZ says it was all a big, fat joke (like most of the wigs laying on Beyonce’s head) and someone claims they doctored it for fun. The cookie crumbs totally lead through the basement door and down the stairs…..

The jokester said, “It’s a little bit crazy. No one in their right mind would sound like that, and no one would cheer for someone singing like that.”

Um….has he heard Kim Zolciak’s walrus warble? Wait. Maybe this is really her raw cover of “If I Were A Boy.” I hope it’s on the b-side of Tightrope.

Matthew Knowles isn’t laughing. He issued a pretty hilarious statement. Picture him reading this on the top of a mountain with a flag bearing the Knowles family mascot blowing in the background:

If no one took the time to look at the biggest Inauguration in the history of America then shame on them.

If no one took the time to listen to Beyonce sing ‘America the Beautiful’ and ‘At Last’ at the Neighborhood Ball for the first dance of President Obama and the First Lady, and they question Beyonce’s vocal ability, they’ve gotta be an idiot.

At 12 years into her career, the last thing someone should be questioning is her vocal ability.

That would be like questioning if Kobe Bryant could shoot a jump shot. The vocals were obviously altered.

You know what sounds altered? His fucking view of reality! Stick a bong in his mouth, so maybe he’ll see the light.

So, I guess it was all a hoax. I can’t wait until it’s revealed that the entire Knowles family is one big hoax. Put a hoax on it!

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