Wino Blames It On Pasta

April 21, 2009 / Posted by:

As if Amy Wino couldn’t get even more naturally beautiful, she’s now sporting a beauty mark on her leg. A beauty mark that probably matches an open wound on Wonky McValtrex’s vag lips.

Wino’s spokeswhore blamed the burn on a rogue crack pipe boiling pot of pasta. Apparently, Wino was trying to do some cooking shit in St. Lucia when a pot accidentally tipped over and sprayed her leg with hot water. Wino’s got enough of the bad shit in her system, so she just shrugged it off, snorted some of the dead skin and went on with her life.

Looking at that shit is making my nails crack, but Wino hardly feels any pain! A source told The Sun she’s going around the island like nothing, “Amy’s wounds looked so painfully sore — she really should cover them up or get herself under an umbrella. They were covered in sand too. We couldn’t believe she wasn’t keeling over in pain.” Yeah, well, it’s a scientific fact that a river full of crack running through your veins kills pain!

Every time I see nasty wounds like this, I always want to pour rubbing alcohol over it to watch it sizzle and crack. I bet if I did that to Wino, that shit would light up and everyone in the room would instantly be riding on a white cloud from the contact high.

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