You Liiiiiiieeee!

April 20, 2009 / Posted by:

After Vadge got dropped on her roidy ass (which probably killed a whole colony of ants living down below) by a really hot horse, she blamed the whole thing on a paparazzo. Vadge’s spokeswhore said that a pap jumped out of the bushes, freaking the horse out and causing Baby Jesus’ pimp to hit the ground. The pap said Vadge and her slaves were telling major major lies. According to his ass, he was only around before and after the fall, but not during. He said that if he was around, he would’ve gotten pictures of her flying off her high horse. And those pictures would’ve immediately been hung over my bed, so that I could go to bed and wake up with a smile on my mug.

The cops who took Vadge’s statement are apparently sliding up to the pap’s side. Sgt. Herbert Johnson of the Southampton Police Department told TMZ, “There is no mention of photographers. It’s a matter of spin control that went out of control. If they felt there was something else, they would have written ‘paparazzi’ in the form — if they felt there was a problem.”

Why does Vadge gotta lie like that? She has no reason to be embarrassed. Everyone already knows that most living things don’t want her riding their backs. I mean, her tarantula crotch can pinch through the toughest saddle, so that horse looked up to the sky, said a prayer and tossed the cuntrag. It tried to make it work.

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