The next time you get caught by the police doing some wrong shit that will make Jesus shake his head in shame, just shrug your shoulders and explain, “I was just joking, officer! When I shanked that bitch in the eye for stealing my stash, I meant it as a joke! Durr.” You can thank Brit Brit’s stalker for that excuse.
As some of you hos may know, MC Hammer was arrested Thursday morning for trespassing on the grounds of Brit Brit’s House of Cheetos with a video camera. After she was released on a citation, Miranda Tozier-Robbins told Access Hollywood (via OK!) that it was all a joke and she didn’t mean it like that.
The Cheetofucker reached into her pee-hole and pulled out this LOLexcuse, “The whole thing — it was all a joke in the beginning, everybody knew about it. It was supposed to be like a ‘Paparazzi 101’ documentary type deal. What originally was supposed to happen was, I was going to tape whatever I could get. I would be like, far away doing a stakeout. It didn’t work out as planned, so when I was already halfway there in the mountains [around Britney’s home], it was already Wednesday night/Thursday morning … I already knew Britney herself wouldn’t be there, but it’s like, I came that far, I might as well go see the house, at least get the house on tape, because I know people would be interested in seeing stuff like that. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, you understand? She’s coming through on the tour, on the stop, it’s like take your chance. Take the opportunity, do it. It wasn’t really stalking her, it was more plotting out how to get to her house.”
That explanation was ripped from an episode of Cops. You know, when I took a hit of my bong this morning, I wasn’t really trying to get high, it was more like me trying to plot out how to get high if I wanted to. Sense: Miranda T doesn’t have any.
You know what’s the biggest joke of them all? The fact that a crazy bitch will hike through the mountains to stalk Brit Brit Spears. You just have to laugh to keep from choking on your own tears over that one. I mean, homeboy risked getting mauled by a mountain lion for a Cheetotard! That is too much work. All Miranda had to do was set up camp near a random bag of Cheetos and wait a few seconds. It wouldn’t take long for Our Lady of Cheetos to sniff it out and stroll right in.