So That’s What He Puts In Those Cheese Grits?

“Mahs Pappy is druggin’ me!!!” That’s what Brit Brit Spears is reportedly telling her friends. Some source (*cough*osamalutfi*cough*) tells Look Magazine (via Showbiz Spy) that the Cheetoneck thinks Daddy Spears has upped her medication to keep her druggy druggy and under his spell.

The source said, “Britney is sure her father is out to get her and that he’s drugging her to turn her into a zombie who won’t fight back. Ever since her breakdown last year when she was hospitalized, she’s been on prescription pills to battle her panic attacks. Her doctors have also prescribed anti-anxiety drugs Valium and Ativan to deal with stress and to help her sleep. As part of the court-ordered conservatorship, Jamie has to make sure Britney takes the correct dosage because she forgets to take them otherwise. But lately she’s been nodding off randomly in the middle of conversations and is convinced it’s because Jamie’s giving her too much much.”

Brit Brit has apparently been secretly texting Landing Strip again asking for his help. Oh, Brit. Just lay back, enjoy the ride and watch the glittery Chester Cheetahs dance around in the sparkly Frapp rain.

For real, I do not see the problem here. If my daddy made me cheese grits with VELVEETA and fed me Valium like it was Rollitos, not only would I never leave home, I’d also nominate him for Daddy of the Millennium! I would even ignore the horrific fact that he always wears his cell phone on the outside of his pocket. Just pour some Valium grits in my mouth and I’ll do whatever you say!