Every drugstore in Mexico must have been out of SPF: Famewhore, because Kim Kardassian managed to scorch the fuck out of herself sans for the little spot where her OctoMommy sunglasses usually go. I bet her hotel room permanently smells like charred piss. Kim needs to fill her tub with some aloe vera jelly, get in and stay there for a few months.
Although, if she wants to make this work, all she has to do is get herself some of Blohan’s liquid diarrhea. Once she does that, she should apply a lot to the unburned areas, bleach her hair blonde, bathe herself in glitter and change her name to California’s #1 Armenian Barbie! Ross who?!
Source: Kim Kardashian