Who knew John and Elizabeth from Nine 1/2 Weeks would both grow up to look like two puss-filled ass warts that really need to be drained. If I was at The Informers premiere in L.A. last night, I would’ve thought that I accidentally stumbled into a Tupperware party. This much plastic is not fantastic. Seriously, if a He-Man and a Barbie doll were both thrown into a pot of boiling water, this is what it would look like.
They were so fucking hot back in the day and now they just need to be stuck in a corn field to scare the crows off. I shouldn’t say that. They can stay, they just shouldn’t get too close to each other for their own safety! The chemistry might still be there, so if they rubbed against each other, all would be left is two sad shrinky dinks lying on the ground.