Cheeto Stalker

April 17, 2009 / Posted by:

American Idol breeds crazy stalkers! Basically. Yet another American Idol auditioner was caught creeping up on a celebwhore. Yesterday morning, 26-year-old Miranda Tozier-Robbins was arrested after Brit Brit’s security people found her roaming the grounds of the Cheeto Kingdom and looking into the windows. Miranda was wearing camouflage and carrying a backpack with a video camera and strap-on inside. Okay, I made up the strap-on part, but it’s probably true.

When security told her to eat a snatch and get the steppin’, Miranda “balked at their requests.” Yeah, who do those security people think they are! Miranda was invited there by Brit Brit herself! Well, not exactly Brit Brit herself. Miranda was eating a Slim Jim one day and after she bitch (typo, but it stays) into one, she noticed her teeth marks left an impression that perfectly resembled Our Lady of Cheetos’ precious face. Some hos see Jesus in their Slim Jims. She saw Cheesus! Then Brit Brit’s Slim Jim face opened its processed-meaty lips and said, “Saaaaaaaaaave me, yoo trimenjus flat top dyke! Saaaaaaave me! Mah pussy is hanging out for you. Merry Christmas! Rock with your cock out. Saaave me!” So that’s what she was doing.

Security finally pulled Miranda’s ass of the property and called the police. Miranda was booked on charges of trespassing and disorderly conduct. She was released on a citation and will have to show her face in court on June 16th.

Crazy really does attract crazy. For Miranda’s sake, I hope they have flannel straitjackets at the loony bin she’s eventually going to go to.

Source: USWeekly

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