Open Post: Hosted By Tori Spelling’s Dehydrated Titties

April 16, 2009 / Posted by:

Where can I send 25 cents a day to sponsor Tori Spelling’s titties? They are looking so malnourished. They look like two snails out of their shells slowly frying in the sun. Tori needs to soak them in a sink full of Ensure, because that shit isn’t healthy. While she’s at it, she should drink a little Ensure herself, but it’s her chichis I’m worried about. They’ve been surviving on nothing but a diet of silicone and that’s obviously not working out for them. Those boobies are hongray.

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