Josh Hartnett Drank The Water

You know people tell you not to drink the water every time you go to a far off country or Florida (joooking..not really)? Well, Josh Hartnett didn’t listen and he slurped up a bunch of refreshing fungus juice.

A couple of weeks ago, Josh had to go to the hospital in Los Angeles and everyone (including this bitch) figured he just ate some bad coke-encrusted tuna. At some event in NYC last night, Josh blamed third world water. He chirped to UsWeekly, “I’m fine, I had a stomach bug — it was literally, like, a 24 hour thing. I was so dehydrated that I needed to be on a couple of IVs. I’m good. The media made a huge deal about it because I left the Chateau Marmont — you know. That’s where I always stay in L.A….you know, they wanna’ come up with whatever they want to come up with. My stomach has been bothering me for months. It’s been recurring because I’ve spent a lot of time in third world countries and I drink the water occasionally when I shouldn’t, I shower and — it’s nothing to worry about!”

Josh obviously needs more vodka. Vodka should be everyone’s #1 travel partner. It kills all germs. It’s a scientific fact. Fuck that Purrell shit. That crap just makes you smell like you’ve just given someone a hand job with ultrasound gel. Vodka is the answer. Pour it in a glass of third world water to kill all the mold worms. Even use it to sanitize a dirty dick before you suck it. So many uses! Doctor approved!