Jerry O’Connell isn’t exactly the most fascinating or glamorous dude in all the land and I know why. His parents kept all the glamour for themselves! Feast your eyes on them! Why doesn’t Jerry bring them to the house more often? They should go everywhere he goes, because they actually make him look more interesting than a plate of steamed jicama.
Can you imagine spending time with them at their house? It would be like taking a hit of acid and then reading a Ghost World comic while an Alfred Hitchcock movie plays in the background. All their upholstered furniture is probably covered in plastic. Mrs. O’Connell serves you table crackers and tap water while Mr. O’Connell introduces you to their collection of taxidermy animals wearing glasses. You know they are crazy obsessive about their glasses. Mrs. O’Connell will slap a trick in the mouth if you even think of touching her glasses. I love them and want to party with them. I won’t touch their glasses. And you know Mrs. O’C is wearing nipple tassles and a leather g under that coat. Homegirl has a wild side.