Fishsticks Paltrow probably has an arsenal of effed up baby names in her head that she’s just dying to use, because apparently she’s ready to have another baby. Fishy said that one day she looked down at her son Moses and thought to herself, “Oh, I don’t want this to be the last two-year-old I have.” Moses looked back at her and thought to himself, “Why is this bitch looking at me like that? And why did she name me Moses? And why is she making me drink this dandelion juice? Does she hate me?”
Fishy tells Now Magazine (via The Sun) that she might have one more baby, because being a mother completes her, “Motherhood enriches your life in the most incredible way. My children have given me a real life. They’ve opened up a new world to me. I never feel lonely, I never feel I don’t know what my purpose in life is any more.”
Fishy didn’t need to have children in order to know what her purpose in life is. She should’ve just asked us! Her purpose in life is to annoy the fuck out of all of us and she’s doing an A++++ job.
I want Fishy to have another guppy, just to see what she names the poor thing. I’m thinking Amram Papaya Martin. Or Lychee Jochebed Martin? Or Pharaoh Kiwano Martin? One of those.