Alien beater, Chris Brown, has apparently dusted his fists off and is ready to give this love thing another go after splitting up with Alien Princess RiRi last month. According to the New York Daily News, Chris is back to busting it with his ex-girlfriend Erica Jackson who is a student at University of Mary Washington. Ugh. Erica better change her major to Getafuckingclue-nomics.
Sources say that Chris and Erica used to date back in the day, but when he went back to his native Virginia, the two started doing it again. The source went on to say that they’ve been getting serious the past couple of weeks and Erica has gone to L.A. with him. As for RiRi, some of Chris’ friends think she’s going to flip her forehead over this, “Ri is going to be so hurt that Chris has moved on so quickly and is parading this new girl around town.”
And while new/old girl is “no Rihanna,” she “has a good head on her shoulders; she’s solid.” I hope her good head is protected by a good fucking helmet when she’s around Chris.
Chris’ pr whores deny the whole thing. Of course, they deny it. It’s not like they are going to admit that this whole thing is painted in a thick coat of PR STUNT (which is the exact shade of dehydrated diarrhea). That’s all this is. Chris just needs a lovely little thing to defend him to the public. I can already picture Erica in a floral dress, carrying a bible in one hand and a kitten she named “Chris” in the other while saying that the only time Chris touches her is to gently stroke her cheek. The spin cycle is on high!