Blaaaaaaake Might Become A Daaaaaaaady!

April 11, 2009 / Posted by:

It seems like all the crack, heroin, freon, battery acid and (insert every drug name here), didn’t kill Blaaaaaaake’s sperm, because the dude has possibly created a fetus. That’s what a 31-year-old jobless heroin addict and mother of 2 claims. Child Protective Services please stand by. You will be needed in 3…2…

Gilleen Morris has told The News of the World that she is six weeks pregnant with Blaaake’s baby. Amy Wino’s husband began putting his crack pipe in Gilleen’s heroin box last February after they met in rehab. They did gross and unprotected things together for about three weeks until they were caught. That’s when the nastiness ended. Gilleen said she never knew this would happen. HOW IZ BABEHZ GETS MADE?

Gilleen said Blaaake only talked about Wino a few times and said he was never going back to her.

Shortly after they started doing fucky times together (the visual makes cockroaches barf), Gilleen found out she was knocked up. When Gilleen got out of the rehab, she went to the doctor and he confirmed that she was carrying a dragon chasing baby! When she told Blaaaake the news, at first he said “OH FUCK” and then he said he would help her raise their child. Such sweet poetry, right?

Gilleen’s first instinct was to get an abortion, but isn’t sure what to do now after hearing Blaaaake would support her. The heroin head said, “Life as single mum wouldn’t be good. I raised two kids before as a single mum and it was very tough. I’m older now, but every day is a challenge to stay off heroin. Once I’ve met Blake again face to face I’ll decide what to do. He’s too young to settle down, but if he could be a good parent that’s something different. It would be good for him. Having a child gives you a new outlook on life. You see things differently. Blake would want to protect the baby. It could help beat his drug problems.”

What in the fuck?! Does she think she’s going to give birth to Dr. Drew or some shit?! Babies don’t cure crackheads! If anything they make that shit worse. Babies want to make you hit the bad shit with all their crying and pooping! She should know. She has two kids already and still a junked-up twat.

Nothing good can come from this! Gilleen could very well give birth to a giant mole filled with heroin! Then Wino will come and snort it up! Or worse, Gilleen and Blaaaaake will try to raise the poor baby! Eventually, they would try to sell it for an 8-ball! Vadge needs to adopt it. That’s the only way.

There’s also a good chance that a) she’s not knocked up (crackheads tend to lie for a quick buck) or b) (read this in your best Maury Povo voice) Blaaaake isn’t even the father!!!

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