The Duggars Have An Announcement To Make

April 10, 2009 / Posted by:

Since OctoMommy is currently the country’s premiere baby pimp, the Duggars had to do something quick to steal the spotlight back! Whatever it is they did, they will announce it this Monday on Today. What in traumatized uterus hell could it be?!

Most likely the oldest Duggar, Joshua, will announce that his new wife is knocked up with their 1st of ten trillion kids. They were only married last September, but they couldn’t even kiss before they became legal! Seriously, Duggar rules state they couldn’t kiss, finger bang or even do anal! Some fucked up shit. So I’m guessing that they started doing fucky times on their wedding night and haven’t really stopped since. Josh’s wife’s vagina is already crying, because it knows its future is going to be filled with giant baby heads.

I also wouldn’t be shocked if Michelle was pregnant with her 19th kid. Bitch barely had a baby girl, Jordyn-Grace, in December, but that woman is a freak of nature. Shit, she was probably already knocked up before she gave birth to Jordyn. While Jordyn was sliding out, the fetus waved and said “See you later, girl.” Michelle is like a machine. I want to see her ass and OctoMommy in a baby-off!

Hopefully, the real news is that Michelle has decided to quit this baby stuff and move to Detroit, the hair capital of the world, to become a famous hair show model. Homegirl’s hair has the wings for it.

VIA The Frisky

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