Blohan Won’t Be Playing Stevie Nicks Anytime Soon

April 10, 2009 / Posted by:

I guess Blohan did the wrong shit one day and got the crazy idea to buy the film rights to Stevie Nicks’ life story as a vehicle for herself. Like Blo really has the cash to buy that shit. You can’t buy the rights to someone’s life story with a half-snorted bag of coke and a Red Bell can. Well, maybe Stevie would’ve accepted that offer back in the early 80s, but not today!

When asked by UsWeekly what she thought about Blo playing her in a movie, Stevie said, “Over my dead body. She needs to stop doing drugs and get a grip. Then maybe we’ll talk.”

Stevie totally crushed Blo’s dreams which caused her to grab a straw and snort ’em up!

Now this isn’t such a fucked-up idea! I mean, Blohan is a little too old in the face to even play Stevie today, but after the make-up hos from BENJAMIN BUTTON’S get their hands on her mug, she could totally pull it off. Stevie practically lived on a mountain made of sugar back in the day, so all you gotta do is throw a shawl over Blohan and VOILA!

And since Blohan really wants to make the worst movie ever by casting herself as Stevie Nicks, she should go all the way! Heather Mills IS Christine McVie. Joaquin Phoenix IS Lindsey Buckingham. James Haven IS Mick Fleetwood (he has the crazy eyes). Billy Bob Thornton IS John McVie. I’ll stop there before a pitchfork-wielding mob of Fleetwood Mac superfans storm my door.

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