When The Asshole Is Away, The Douche Will Play

Asshole Simpson had a sad face in her heart when she had to leave her husband to go back home and take care of Bronx Mowgli. Ass was with Pete Wentz for a few of his shows, but couldn’t go with him to Las Vegas. Asshole let her out sadness through Twitter, “I am beyond sad to leave my love… My heart is breaking as we drive home. I need my hubs.”

Meanwhile in a hotel room in Vegas, Petey was bumping vaginas with a bunch of hos. After a Fall Out Boy concert at the Palms Casino on April 5th, Pete partied with 50 skanks including his band members, a few dancers and his friends. Some ho who was there told Star Magazine, “Everybody was going absolutely crazy. People were even drunkenly playing makeshift Slip ‘n’ Slide with a mat and lubricant. And Pete was in great spirits. He was dancing and singing along to his band’s own songs, grinding up against the dancers.”

Lube ‘n’ Slide? That sounds like something Tommy Girl scoots his ass over in between butt fucks during a Scientolo-orgy.

You know, Asshole was just putting on an act with her Twitter post. Bitch was probably relieved that Pete wasn’t at home, locked in the bathroom, using her flat iron to straighten his pubes out and using her eyeliner to paint lipstick on his peen hole.

Although, looking at these pictures of him with hos probably made her a little weepy. I mean, Pete can’t grind on Ass like that without busting into a giggle fit. It’s still a miracle that Ass got pregnant since I doubt his ladyfinger ever went into her flower garden. Pete must have just busted one on the toilet seat and forgot to clean it up. Ass didn’t notice it when she went to make a pee….VOILA! Baby!