Try to read this quote from Miley Cyrus without thinking of a million “Oh, God” jokes. Please do this, because the FBI has chips in our brains and there might be trouble. Although, I already lost. Here’s what 16-year-old Miley said about how her 20-year-old boyfriend brought her closer to God:
“I’ve never been closer to the Lord since I met him. He’s really made me read my Bible. He’s made me actually read the stories in the Bible — not the quick little verses — that not only help me, but show you how to help other people.”
You know, I’ve never actually read the stories in the Bible either, so maybe Gaston can help me too. Actually, he should teach Bible study class! He can read the stories to us, take off his top, discuss the meaning of life, give us lapdances, sing us hymns, water himself down and join us in prayer! This is what he was meant to do!