Don’t Smoke Weed, Motherfuckers!

April 9, 2009 / Posted by:

Brit Brit’s Circus of Cheetos ’09 tour came to a fucking stop last night in Vancouver, 15 minutes into her lip-synch and pork rind shaking act. When Our Lady of Cheetos left the stage after her third song, the hobilly didn’t come back! The audience was left in the dark for about 30-minutes without any kind of explanation.

Finally, a voice came down from the heavens (aka the loudspeaker) and said: “The building is awfully smoky. It is uncomfortable for everyone on stage, including Ms. Spears. Please extinguish all cigarettes – this is a non-smoking building, and the show will resume when the smoke on the stage is cleared.”

Once the smoke cleared or whatever, Brit Brit finished her little hoedown, but the audience was not pleased. The long ass break killed their boner and many of them were fucking over it.

Brit’s spokesbitch later said the smoke fucked with the crew members and made them “ill due to a ventilation issue.” The spokesbitch went on to say that the smoke came from cigarettes and not marijuana. Yeah, but at the end of the show, Brit Brit told the audience ” Thank you, Vancouver! You guys have a wonderful night. Drive safe, don’t smoke weed and rock out with your cocks out. Peace motherfuckers!” It’s in the video above.

Okay, telling hos in Vancouver to not smoke weed is like telling Phoebe Price to not pose or telling Wonky McValtrex to not put penises in her vagina all the time. The good green shit is in the air in Vancouver. It’s part of the oxygen. If they stopped smoking weed, they would DIE! True fact.

This is what REALLY happened. When the Cheetoling got on stage, she smelled the beautiful herb in the air and it took her over! She became The Hulk! But instead of wanting to throw cars and shit, she wanted to devour everything in sight. So she ran out of the arena and headed to the nearest 7-Eleven where she cleared the place out. There wasn’t a single Funyun left! I think she even ate the Slurpee machine. That’s why they told everyone to stop smoking, because it creates a Cheetos-ravaging monster and fucks with her lip-synching skills. I mean, we all know homegirl is one with her bong.

And bitch needs to stop with the “rock with your cock out” shit. She sounds like a Von Dutch trucker hat from 2002. She should start telling the audience, “Hang yo pussies out, motherfuckers!”

Story: People – Video: ONTD

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