Chunk Bass

Ed Westwick has made the costumers on the set of Gossip Girl scream, “Why is that fatty fat fat so fucking fat?!” after his fittings. Apparently, Ed is eating too much succulent meat which is causing him to become a founding member of the BBB (Big Beautiful Bass) Club.

A source told InTouch (via MSNBC’s The Scoop) that Ed has a little too much junk in his trunk, hood, bumper, fender, headlights, etc… It has become a problem, because the costumers aren’t equipped to handle the chunk. The source said, “Ed has been gaining a lot of weight — not just around the waist, but throughout his whole body. First, the costume department had to buy him new, bigger pants. Then, his shirts and jackets got way too snug. The costumers even requested that producers talk to Ed — they don’t want Chuck to be fat!”

Why not?! Whenever I see Chuck Bass, I always think to myself that he would look so much hotter with a giant cream puff or sausage stuffed into his mouth. Come to think of it, everyone on Gossip Girl would look a whole lot more attractive with pastries and shit in their mouths. They should make everyone gain weight! Ratings would sky rocket! I mean, we can already see skinny annoying twinks making out on any other network, but where can see see two honey-baked hams go at it? And don’t say Claim Jumpers on a Friday night.