April Fools’ Day Has Already Passed

April 5, 2009 / Posted by:

I really don’t like jokes! Viggo Mortensen says he might be pulling a Joaquin Phoenix sans the whole dick butter-covered hobo rapper thing. Viggo tells The Times of London (via Page Six) that he is thinking of quitting the bitch known as the movie business. Oh fuckness, let’s not do this, Viggo!!!

Viggo said, “No more movies. I haven’t said yes to one in over a year. If it all dries up now, I’ve had a good run.”

No. Viggo has not had a good run yet. There is still more acting to do. And by “acting” I mean getting naked. Seriously, I feel like the movie going public has not spent enough quality time with his peen. Think of all the genitals that will be left sad and distraught over this news. Viggo is just talking silly! He just needs to take a Calgon bath, nuzzle up to a bong, take a nap and re-charge his peen. Viggo is not done. There’s still more peen-flashing to do!

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