There’s A New Freddy Krueger

April 4, 2009 / Posted by:

For the first time in like forever, a bitch other than Robert Englund will play Freddy Krueger in a movie. I know. At first I wanted to crawl into a roach box motel and get crushed by a large shoe, but I actually like the whore who is replacing Robert, so maybe this isn’t such a bad thing. I don’t know.

New Line announced that Jackie Earle Haley will now be slashing teens up in the the remake/re-telling/re-whoring/re-butchering of Nightmare on Elm Street which comes out April 16, 2010. Some dude named Samuel Bayer is directing and another bitch who goes by the name of Wesley Strick is writing the words. Shooting begins May 5th in Chicago.

Some whores may know Jackie as Kelly in The Bad News Bears. Other whores may know him as Rorschach from Watchmen. But I know Jackie as the creepiest child toucher who ever touched from Little Children. Bitch was so convincing that I felt violated after watching his ass. Jackie probably ended up on some kind of government list for that performance. Because I know Jackie has the ability to make me want to scrub my skin with Ajax, he might pull this off.

VIA Coming Soon

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >