The Iowa State Supreme Court ruled this morning that a ban on same-sex marriage is gross and struck that motherfucker down! That bitch got banished back to the dark ages. This will make Iowa the fourth state that allows gays and lesbians to attach a ball and chain to their ankles legally! Hoo-RAY!
The Associated Press summed up the Supreme Court’s ruling: “The court reaffirmed that a statute inconsistent with the Iowa constitution must be declared void even though it may be supported by strong and deep-seated traditional beliefs and popular opinion.”
The court’s ruling will take around 21 days to be made final. The Polk County Attorney said they would not ask for a rehearing, so gays and lesbians could start getting married in just a few weeks!
You know, when I first saw Austin Scarlett’s corn husk dress on Project Runway, I knew this would be the perfect ensemble for Mah Boo Anderson Cooper to wear to our wedding. It goes with the dazzling silver field on his head.
Now that Iowa is close to marrying the gays, Mah Boo in a wedding outfit made from corn is meant to be! Yeah, I know you’re thinking I should wear that, but he has the legs for it. And don’t worry! He’s going to butch it up by pairing it with leggings and a blazer made out of corn kernels. I’ll wear something made out of hay or oats. It’ll be the perfect Iowa wedding! Now I just have to figure out how I’m going to get him to lift that restraining order against me. He’s always playing hard to get!