JLo Can’t Give Up The Spotlight!

April 3, 2009 / Posted by:

JLo and Skeletor have proven us all wrong! They were supposed to announce their separation during some kind of weird musical duet at Skeletor’s concert on Valentine’s Day, but that never went down and they are STILL married. Some whores told Gatecrasher they are trying to make their tortured animal of a marriage work, but there’s problems. Skeletor wants to fill the world more zombie babies and JLo wants a career. Don’t choke on the “career” part. It’s not polite.

One source said, “Jennifer feels like Marc is holding her career back, and she was sick of his social butterfly mentality while she stayed at home with the twins (MK Note: HA! Ask her where exactly the nursery is and you’ll get a mean side-eye back). There are times when she’s had it, and close to ending it. She’ll throw down her ring and say, ‘That’s it.’ But when Marc realizes he’s about to lose her, he comes right back to Mommy. She enhances his life — she’s a huge star and good for him, and he does love her. And really, all their fighting makes for some fiery passion in the bedroom.

The source went on to chirp, “She will never give up the red carpet, and certainly doesn’t want to be barefoot and pregnant, locked down or locked up. She wants to give [1-year-olds Max and Emme] siblings, but she loves the attention of the spotlight. She does not want to be a stay-at-home mom.”

Um, isn’t that what nannies are for? You can have it all! When you pop them out, you take a pretty picture with them for People, collect your check, hand them to the nanny and then go back to being a huge star or whatever. JLo knows this!

And Skeletor isn’t holding her career back! There’s a little disease called Notalent-itis holding her back. Not to mention that other disease she also suffers from called Massiveego-tosis. The only cure is to sit down and stay there.

Here’s JLo and the Zombie in Black leaving The Box in NYC last night.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >