Why Won’t People Let White Oprah Party With Her 15-Year-Old?

White Oprah had planned to have a good old-fashioned Lohan night out in Hollywood, but the bouncer at the club just wouldn’t cooperate! All White Oprah wanted was to get fucked up with her daughters and maybe bond over a line or two in a bathroom stall! Regular family stuff! But the bouncer, who obviously hates family togetherness, denied them entrance.

According to UsWeekly (via The Scoop), White Oprah, Blohan and Ali Lohan tried to get into Villa and failed. White Oprah was told that Ali is too young. White Oprah apparently then pulled out everyone’s favorite line that works every time, “Do you know who I am?” And to really stick it to the bouncer’s asshole, Blohan added, “You’re making a huge mistake. Huge!”

The bouncer knew who these twats were. If he didn’t, he would’ve held the door open for Ali and given her a senior’s discount, because bitch is the perfect definition of BENJAMIN BUTTON’S SHIT. While White Oprah and Blohan were flipping their coke noses over this, Ali was probably the only one sighing in relief to herself, because someone actually thought she was young! She will never forget that man again!

And White Oprah needs to try harder. The cokey gods didn’t give her those Grand Canyon nostrils for no reason. Stick Ali up in there, tell her to hold her breath and then sashay into the club.

Here’s Blohan and Ole’ Ali killing us softly with fringe while leaving SamRo’s house yesterday afternoon.