And Now JLo Is Drunk…And High

April 2, 2009 / Posted by:

Topshop and Topman opened in NYC last night and I have to start by telling the power bottoms out there who might not know about this shit that this is NOT a place where hundreds of tops are lined up for your pleasure. I made that mistake when I was in London. I was promptly escorted out by security when I asked where the dick was. It was all very embarrassing.

At last night’s opening, Kate Moss and JLo came mouth to cheek. This gross moment is making my stomach crawl up to my throat, but I hope it was good for JLo. Like I hope she got high off of Kate’s fumes, because bitch needs it! Maybe if JLo got a hit of the bad shit, she would stop making “I got a doody bubble and it won’t come out” face. Actually, a taste of the bad shit might make it worse. I seriously will be willing to put on an entire box of Hazmat-approved rubber gloves so that I can pop JLo’s doody bubble Bobby Brown-style. Maybe then will she stop making that annoying IHasFarts face.

And if Chuck Bass chased the dragon, caught it, stumbled into a fruit dehydrator and passed out in there for a few weeks, he’d come out looking like Skeletor. Methinks Skeletor thought plaid would make him look like he’s a member of the living. He thought wrong.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >