So, when HoHan was first seen driving around in a $100,000 Maserati, I immediately figured SamRo was leasing it for her in exchange for nightly clit gnawing sessions. Well, I was wrong. TMZ says they know who that butt plug of a car belongs to. It’s owned by some dude named Dennis DeSantis who is in the sex selling game. DeSantis is a porn producer who has put together some of the most elegant works of art including Butt Sluts and Origami So Horny.
After HoHan’s assistant busted the car by driving into a Subaru, DeSantis just shrugged it off, paid the $10,000 for it to get repaired and allowed our little cokey fauxmosexual to keep driving it. DeSantis also claims he lent her the car just because. There’s no strings attached. Uh huh…… There’s always strings attached. And these strings are attached to the end of a double-sided dildo, because that’s what HoHan’s going to have to put in her ass in order to pay DeSantis back.
We’ve always joked that HoHan is sitting first class in the Crackwhore Train to hardcore porn. I wouldn’t be shocked if when I was trolling the adult section of my video store, I saw HoHan’s diarrhea face on the cover of titles like: Labia Pains, Confessions Of A Teenage Oral Queen, The Pussy Trap, Just My Fuck, Meat Girls, A Prairie Whore Companion and Freaky Friday.
White Oprah will be so proud. No, she really will be. I wasn’t being sarcastic.