Open Post: Hosted By The Drunk Teacher

So this is why I’m not a teacher! I thought it was because being around kids gives me the runs, but this is the real reason. Apparently, it’s frowned upon to show up drunk to class and shake your bare nalgas for your students. Yeah, some bitches are so fucking touchy.

42-year-old Kylene Nelson found this out the hard way after she came to her Language Arts class drunk as a Wino. Students at a Quantcast” border=”0″ height=”1″ width=”1″> Land O’ Lakes, FL middle school said the 8th grade teacher smelled like the inside of a Lohan and forced everyone to dance with her. One student said that Ms. Drunky told them that if they didn’t dance with her, they would all fail. At one point, she snatched a 13-year-old and grinded against him with her partially-exposed ass hanging out. Students say she didn’t have any panties on. After Ms. Drunky figured out she could probably get in trouble, she ran off campus and was found passed out by a pool at the nearby community center. Reports say she had a booze level of 0.26! This bitch is kind of hot.

Why didn’t I have a teacher like this in school? Maybe I wouldn’t have ditched half of the time. The most exciting thing to happen to me in class was when my English teacher accidentally said the word “shit” and then spent the entire period crying about it, because she was a “good Christian wife and mother.” Boring ass bitch needed to hang out with Ms. Drunky.

Kylene has been suspended and the school board will hold a hearing next month to determine what to do with her. It’s obvious what they need to do with her hot ass: ship off her to the Rock of Love Bus! They appreciate a drunk whore who loves to party! Or just transfer her ass to the Pole Dancing Department. I’m pretty sure all Florida middle-schools have one of those.