R.I.P. Kim Zolciak’s Blog

March 27, 2009 / Posted by:

Bow your head, hold your hands together and softly sing an acoustic version of Tightrope in your best walrus on his death bed voice, because the internet is losing one of its most poignant and illustrious blog stars. It was announced that Kim Zolciak has been evicted from the internet. DAMN YOU, ECONOMY! You’ve gone too far. When Kim shakes out her wig for an

Her former publicist wrote a final post proclaiming they have ended their war against each other, but also sadly said her blog will be executed and thrown off the tightrope this Monday. I think he’s going to feed it to her rabid dog wig.

That’s okay, I’ve already memorized most of it anyway. By most of it, I mean the comments. Seriously, my soul is weeping at the thought of all the future amazing comments we’re all going to miss out on. Every fucking comment is like “YOU CUNT” or “You suck, fat whore!” It’s like reading my future obituary.

Peace out, Kim Zolciak’s blog. I wish I could give you a quarter to pay your bill, but I just can’t fucking be bothered. If only creditors accepted desperation as payment (you can decide who that was directed towards).

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