Shawn Johnson Has A Stalker

For every semi-famous ho out there, there’s a lunatic with Spam for brains who will spend their days and nights stalking them! Shawn Johnson, Olympian and the cute little mouse on Dancing with the Has-Beens, came dangerously fucking close to meeting her stalker on Tuesday.

TMZ says the po po arrested 34-year-old Robert O’Ryan on the set of DWTS after he was caught sneaking in. They wouldn’t say how he got onto the set, but I think he crawled into The Woz’s lunch box. That’s kind of easy to do since it’s the size of a refrigerator.

When the cops searched the crazy’s car, they found two loaded guns and duct tape. They also found maps to her house, freaky love letters and press clippings on Shawn. They didn’t find mop fibers, though. Hmmm. No, CHERYL BURKE would never….Would she? Stick her in a janitor’s closet just in case!

Robert is your typical fucked up stalker, because he told police he drove from Florida to be with Shawn. Shawn speaks to him through the television and the two are meant to get married and have children together. Somebody put a fucking hat made of foil on Robert’s head, so he can’t hear Shawn “talking” to him anymore.

Robert is currently marinating his crazy in a jail cell on $35,000 bail. Shawn’s mother immediately filed for a restraining order again Robert. Shawn also got herself a big ass security guard who is following her all around town.