Blohan Is Going Straight To Cable TV

March 26, 2009 / Posted by:

If you’re one of Blohan’s “sicko fans” then you will pleased to know that you don’t have to go far to see her next masterpiece. Fuck, you don’t even have to get your fat ass off the sofa, because it will be beamed directly to your TV. Blohan’s Labor Pains will make its debut on basic cable! One step closer to selling hand jobs at the Bunny Ranch in Nevada!

The production company told UsWeekly that it will show on ABC Family in July. A month later, it will be thrown into a 50% off discount bin at the 99 Cent Store.

Blohan’s response: “YOU SICKO FANS ARE RUINING MY LIIIIFEEEEE!” Stick a meth pipe in it!

Since Blohan is about to become the Meryl Streep of the cable TV movie circuit, I think it’s about time she ring up her old friend Ty Ty Banks and propose a sequel to the masterpiece shit show known as LIFE SIZE. Blohan’s cracked out soul needs Ty Ty to serenade her with the uplifting anthem “Be A Star.” That will make everything okay again. The clip is below and no, Ty Ty is not synching with her lips. She’s got natural talent! It’s also strange to see lil’ Lohan before the meth bugs ate her face.

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