March 25, 2009 / Posted by:

Before OctoCrazy was sticking her titties in the mouths of ten trillion babehs, she was shaking her chichis in the faces of strange dudes. That’s because when she was 19, she shimmied that octopussy for a dollar.

According to The National Enquirer, the biggest baby pimp in the game told a friend, “I had not even kissed a boy. But I entered a dance/lingerie contest in a club near my home. I danced and paraded in lingerie. Then, when I was 19, I went to a gentleman’s club and performed as a topless dancer. But I only did it one night. I quit when I found out I was expected to perform lap dances on the customers.

I doubt bitch has kissed a boy since. She’s kissed an IVF needle, but not a damn man. The owner of the club is probably pinching his taint, because he didn’t know she was a babyhead at the time. He could’ve told her ass that you can get knocked up from a lap dance. Bitch would’ve been rubbing her pussy all over the place.

OctoCrazy also told her friend that she’s afraid pictures of her teenage bitties flapping in the strip club air might surface. Um. Those pictures are roses and rainbows compared to what OctoCrazy has already done to my beautiful eyes with THIS SHIT. There could be pictures of skinned rat coming out of her asshole and it still wouldn’t be as awful as that Little Shop of Horrors shit.

In other Crazy Baby Lady news, she explained to fellow lunatic Dr. Phil the reason she fired all the free nurses from Angels in Waiting. She said, “The primary issue was that myself and my nannies felt extremely uncomfortable. I personally felt like a stranger in my own home. The goal was to empower me as a mother, help me, train me. I’m open to that, I want that, I want to do the very best for these…premature babies. I wanted [Angels] to use their training and knowledge to help guide me. I felt that was never accomplished. I felt as though every time I tried to hold the babies, feed the babies, they would be observing and they were waiting for me to make a mistake.”

Yeah, I’m not a mommy or anything, but shouldn’t the primary goal be to take care of the damn babies?! You know, feed them leche, sings them dumb songs, wipe the caca off their asses, teach them important words like “cunt“? Shit like that? The goal should not be to stroke her crazy! And when was OctoCrazy every holding her own babies? The crazy bitch is always outside working the famewhore stroll.

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