When Karina Smirnoff Ice came prancing out on Dancing with the Has-Beens last night with a head full of disco curls, I immediately got flashes of Gina Montana, the second hottest bitch in Scarface (next to The Pfeiff, of course).
The fact that Karina didn’t scream “If I wanna fuck ’em, Tony, then I’ll fuck ’em!” halfway through her number was kind of illegal. If you’re going to take on hair like that, you have to own it. Lots of shoulder thrusting, lots of coke snorting and a ton of shouting. And you have to do all of that with a gun in your hand and your body draped in either sequins or satin. Karina needs to hit up Blockbuster (or did that shit go out of business yet?), study that shit and try again.
Here’s Karina with that sexy beast known as Maksim at some TV Guide party last night along with some other whores. If you give an eff, they are in order: Simon Baker, Eva Longwhoria, my future no-no tickler, that slut Kelly Taylor, Christina Hendricks, busted teef lady and Roidy McRoidlips.