Cindy Crawford is fucking 43, she’s fucking hot, she’s fucking nekkid and she’s fucking foaming at the cooch in Allure Magazine. This is what happens to every bitch who sticks the tip into Parasite Hilton’s rabies-infested snatch. Ring up the free clinic and tell them we have a foamer.
All the ideas for this photo shoot were taken out of the “So Edgy & Different” files. I mean, shaving cream, a robot with shiny eyes (OMG! Kanye, is that you?) and bread ripping? Why would anyone want to kill a delicious loaf of piping hot carbs? Cindy will be hearing from the good people at PETY (People for Ethical Treatment of Yeast)! You can’t just go around butchering bread! Well, unless you plan to slap some mayo and a slice of ham on it. Then it’s okay.
And you know there’s some sick fucker out there who is spitting on his peen over Cindy being a meanie to a bread lof. Bread fuckers: they exist!