Blohan’s Busted Bumper

March 24, 2009 / Posted by:

Yeah, not (nsfw) THAT bumper. That bumper has been busted since ’05.

The bumper on her brand new $100,000 Maserati got fucked up when Blohan’s assistant ran that shit into a parked Subaru yesterday afternoon. Being a dumb bitch must be contagious. Seriously, you could be the greatest driver on the planet, but if you sit next to Blohan in a car, all your skills will be thrown out the damn window. Or Blohan would find a way to crystalize your skills so she can snort ’em up.

Fixing that wreck isn’t going to be cheap. Blohan better give her snatch a pep talk and a Life Saver, because SamRo’s going to put it through some serious shit to pay for that busted bumper.

Here’s Blohan wandering the streets of Downtown L.A. yesterday. If Blohan wants to look like she’s in the final stages of becoming a zombie, that’s fine. But bitch shouldn’t put her weave through that shit. She needs to dip it in some Pedialyte, because it’s looking thirsty.

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