Blohan Is Broke

March 23, 2009 / Posted by:

Try not to look to surprised when the drugged-out, stringy homeless person begging for coins on the freeway off-ramp has a face that only White Oprah could love, because the NYDN says Blohan is broke as a joke. One of Blo’s friends said she’s living the American way by using her credit cards to pay for a bunch of her dumb shit. And when she’s not maxing out her plastic (Suze Orman just turned inside/out), she’s making her own personal Brandon Teena pick up the tab.

The only cash that is coming in are from personal appearances Blohan makes at clubs and that’s not cutting it. Her friend said, “She has no cash. The problem is, the money being spent is mostly Sam’s because Lindsay doesn’t really have any of her own at the moment; she’s really taken on the ‘man’ role in their romance. Sam really thinks Lindsay needs to learn how to become a recessionista and manage her money better.”

Blohan needs to learn that money doesn’t always sprout out of twats, even if she nibbles the clit a little. It’s time to make some changes. Instead of snorting up Colombia’s finest, she’s going to have to switch to huffing gas out of car gas tanks (it’s free!). Instead of Red Bull and Vodka, she’ll have to join the rest of us and drink Nikolai vodka and RC Cola in the parking lot before we go into the club. Instead of spending $800 on getting extensions, she’ll have to follow Parasite Hilton around and catch the tracks that come falling off her head.

Crash. Smash. Pink. Heart. BROKE. BITCH.

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