Blame It On The Sweet Green

March 23, 2009 / Posted by:

Amy Wino, forever the Crackie of Camden to me, was packed up and shipped off to St. Lucia to shake the crack out of her system so she could get back to making music (and cash money). Well, the record label apparently isn’t busting loads over the shit she wrote in between stealing cocktails and dry humping the tourists in the Caribbean. The Sun says Wino now thinks she’s like the next Bob Marley or something, because her new sound is all reggae. Crackie Marley!

A source said, “She seems to have ditched her trademark vintage soul sound and is now heavily influenced by reggae. Her bosses don’t think it’s a wise move to change her style so sharply and have told her that.”

They sent the crackie to the Caribbean, what do they expect?! Wino let the local flavor fall all over her and creep into her lungs. And by that I mean she squeezed into a bong and inhaled enough of the good shit to leave St. Lucia dry for years.

The label isn’t only concerned about Wino butchering reggae with her crackie call, but they also think her lyrics are way too dark. Even for her. The source went on to say, “In the past, she’s written frequently about broken hearts and boyfriends, but this time round she’s delving into harrowing terrain.”

Wino’s green must have been laced with a little of the evil sugar, because if she was smoking the good shit, all her songs would be about the Taco Bell chihuahua, South Park, Michael Phelps and 12-hour naps.

You know, her label whores need to take a few tokes themselves, because it’s better than they think. Look on the bright fucking side. At least Wino’s brain can still work long enough for her to write actual words on paper. Which is more than I can say for myself this morning. Fuck, I hate Monday morning times. Wino, take all of us awaaaaay.

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