This past Valentine’s Day, Harrison Ford got on one knee and asked Calista Flockhart to be his third wifey friend. I’m sure the happy moment was short-lived when Harrison’s hip almost went out, he got a charley horse and he farted when he tried to get up. Oldies do that. And then Calista probably fell the fuck over, because the ring was too heavy for her skinny ass to hold up.
Some source told People that after 7 years of dating, 66-year-old Harrison gave 44-year-old Calista a ring while they were on vacation. Their spokeswhores have zipped up their lips and aren’t saying shit about this matter.
Harrison is probably over her ass and figures the best way to get her off his old tired back is to marry her, because marriage kills the love! Or maybe he’s hoping their wedding reception will be a costume party and that will give him an excuse to wear that amazing shit in the picture above. Oh fuck, I hope he wears that.