I Know What You Did Last Summer: You Made This Shitty Piece Of Shit!

March 20, 2009 / Posted by:

The cast for the remake of Sorority Row looks like it was compiled in a bathroom stall at Les Deux. I mean, it stars Ceiling Eyes from The Hills, Tater Head, Jamie from The Real World: San Diego, some skank whose greatest credit is being “detention girl” in 90210 and a bunch of other whores. Obviously, they all worked for drink tickets, a half-used box of Trojans and a promise that their 15-seconds will be extended to 18. And tell me why oh why Carrie Fisher is in this dirty tampon of a movie?! Carrie, if you need some quick cash, work the streets or sell crack. It’s more respectable than working with these whorey cardboard cutouts.

And of course, Ceiling Eyes plays the dead girl. The bitch probably can’t even play a corpse convincingly. Her ceiling eyes got her role, obviously.

While watching this trailer, these were my thoughts: That’s not foam, it’s jizz backing up! Why did he kill her if she was already dead? A tire iron can do that? Graduation gowns have hoods? Why am I doing this to myself? Is this real life?

SPOILER ALERT: Tater Head’s chin is the killer!

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