What Is It About This Bitch?

March 19, 2009 / Posted by:

Why does Ryan Gosling make my nipples stand up and my nalgas clench? This, I don’t understand. Dude is borderline steamed spinach without lemon.

I mean, he looks like one of those dudes who won’t call you for weeks, but then magically shows up at your door to hit that shit. You resist at first, but then the asshole flashes a “Yeah, I know how to do this” smile and before you know it, you’re on board the bust nuts express. And I bet you that seconds after he pops a mess all over you, he gets up and says he needs to go have a cigarette by himself. Bitch doesn’t even give you a paper towel! And then he walks outside and never comes back! A few weeks go by and the cycle repeats itself. If you see him in a bar or on the street within that time, dude probably doesn’t even say hi. He just nods his head and gives you one of those cocky ass smiles that makes your genitals cry.

Okay, I just answered my own question. Swoooooooon.

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