Russell Brand washed up to shore in Sydney, Australia yesterday and quickly zeroed in on a chick who was waiting for the ferry. Blohan’s style twin slithered on over to the girl, turned on the sex and had his tongue down her throat in less in just a few minutes! Just like that, the girl had a case of the throat maggots. And you can’t knock them out with q-tips dipped in rubbing alcohol! After he infected the poor bitch, Russell got on a boat and stripped down to his panties. A few second later, hundreds of storks drowned their asses in the ocean to stop the horrific image from replaying in their brains.
That being said, I’d hit it. Hey, at least he doesn’t have skidmarks…that we can see.