Marc Jacobs can’t get married to himself, so he might as well marry the porterhouse steak version of himself. Women’s Wear Daily says that Marc is engaged to Brazilian ad executive Lorenzo Martone. The two have been licking each other’s peen trunks for like a year or something.
The rumor is that the two will announce their engagement when they arrive in Brazil today wearing rings. Engagement rings not cock rings.
Page Six adds that the two have already bought a marital love nest. Marc is apparently buying a $13 million 4,500 square-foot townhouse in the West Village. It has a private garden and roof, so they can shake their naked and pruned asses all over the joint in peace.
I will raise my mug of Sanka to these two and their stubble beards this morning. Seriously, all I see is a whole of stubble which makes me think of a whole lot of chafed butt cheeks.