Nothing compares to the broke down hos of Atlanta, but hopefully this fuckery right here will come close. Bravo has rolled out the new skanks of The Real Housewives of New Jersey premiering on May 12th. They could have also titled this The Real Pre-Ops Of Trannytown, because four of these tricks look like they’ve got excellent dick tucking skills. The fake ginge on the right just looks like she’s just going to whine like a toddler on speed through the whole season.
My Tivo is really ready to quit this bitch, but I will have to force this mess upon it. Based on these hags’ bios alone, this is going to be a pile of Aquanet vomit. I bolded the bestest parts:
Jacqueline Laurita: A former cosmetologist, she is now a stay-at-home mom, but still loves to pamper herself. She has a teenage daughter from her previous marriage and a 6-year-old son with her husband Chris, who owns wholesale apparel businesses and is brother to Caroline and Dina.
Teresa Giudice: Born and raised in New Jersey, her husband Joe owns a successful construction company. Together they have three young daughters, who take up much of her time. A friend of Dina and Caroline, she also loves to shop, get spa treatments and spend time at her beach house on the Jersey Shore.
Danielle Staub: “You either love me or you hate me, there is no in between,” says the single mom of two daughters. She prides herself as one of the first female American Express Black card members in New Jersey. She is also active in her local parish and regularly attends mass. She and Jacqueline are friends.
Dina Manzo: Founder of the nonprofit Project Ladybug, which helps children with cancer, she’s also an interior designer, an event planner, mother and best friends with her sister Caroline. Her husband Tommy works with his brother (Caroline’s husband) at their family’s catering business.
Caroline Manzo: She’s a mother of three and owns a real estate firm and a line of children’s accessories. Described as a “feisty spitfire,” she’s Dina’s sister and is on the board of Project Ladybug. She’s married to Albert Manzo, brother of Dina’s husband Tommy. Dina and Caroline’s brother is Jacqueline’s husband Chris.
Survey says? TRASH!!!!! Bravo better have shot this shit in HD, because how else would they get all the big hair and fake nails in one shot?
And if you haven’t seen the brilliance below, please watch it. You will definitely agree with me that every bitch in this video needs to make at least a 30-second cameo in The Really Trashy Housetrannies of Jersey.